“We need to appreciate head-to-toe sensuality and arousal, taking the pressure off… Tense bodies that have no other outlet often find release through involuntary ejaculation.” (p.252)
There are times for hot, quick sex, and times when we want to take our time to enjoy the act for as long as we possibly can. For some people (or with some couples’ chemistry), there’s no differentiation between the two when it comes to getting ready to enter. For others, foreplay plays a big role in their performance.
From my own experience (and from the stories people tell me), foreplay for many is concentrated on the most sensitive erogenous zones. This can be great for quick sex, but if you want to enjoy an all-nighter, abruptly bringing your partner right up to their peak can be like throwing a plug in the top of an active volcano, and expecting it to stop it from erupting.
And even worse, a lot of partners tend to take turns arousing each other during foreplay (I sometimes find myself doing the same thing, sitting back relaxed until my partner tires out, then taking my turn until she volunteers to start again). This can create a cyclic wave of arousal: up down, up down, up down, then up and oops…
Rather than putting all the fun and pressure on one physical zone, we can slow things down and relax every part of the body and mind, by paying attention to them interactively during foreplay. This type of enjoyment can create calming sensations that are more intense, yet still controllable.
One example is running a combination of the soft side of your fingertips and nails across your partner’s body, creating sensual patterns directly on their skin, over and under clothes and sheets, alternating between one and two hands at a time, slow, then fast, then slow again, reaching for every inch of their figure, adding an unexpected kiss in unusual places to heighten the excitement.
You can incorporate music too, whispering words while you compose your own pulsating melody, tapping and gliding tactile rhythms that change just when your partner thinks they know what’s coming next. The most important thing is to take your time to enjoy the moment, rather than concentrate on what’s (or who’s) coming next. And best of all, you can do it to each other simultaneously, synchronizing your stimulation and continuing the fun as you become one..
Contrary to popular belief, many men do love (and benefit from) foreplay, especially when it’s creative and two-way. And we can use all the suggestions you’ve got. So please share your anonymous tricks for interactive enjoyment, and help keep my readers’ beds moaning with satisfaction!
Sex. - Not All Men Are Monsters - Sex. Travel. Food. Life. - Brian Johnston 
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